


How Does It Work?

by Moonscar



Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Chatting & Messaging, Cold, Denial of Fatherhood, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Light Angst, M/M, Mother Hen Steve Rogers, Social Media, Swearing, Texting, Thermoregulate, blood mention, chat fic, chatroom, text fic, thermoregulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 01:35:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16651795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscar/pseuds/Moonscar
Summary: Spider-Burrito: why do i suddenly have a stack of 20 blankets in my room...?CaptainMotherHen: You expect us to learn about the fact that you thermoregulate and NOT make sure your not freezing every moment during winter?FalconsAreCool: Yeah kid, if you really thought that then you have another thing coming





	How Does It Work?

**FalconsAreCool** : Why did Loki just suddenly blurt out 'Nine!' only to have Peter instantly bring him to the bathroom?

 **Mr.Jesus** : hm

 **FalconsAreCool** : You know something

 **FalconsAreCool** : Care to share it with us?

 **Mr.Jesus** : nope, not a chance -

 **FalconsAreCool** : It was worth a shot-

**MischievousSnek** : She/Her

 **CaptainMotherHen** : Okay

 **FalconsAreCool** : No problem-

 **IronPopTartMan** : that's fine but-

 **IronPopTartMan** : what happened earlier? 

 **MischievousSnek** : why would i tell you?

 **IronPopTartMan** : because it directly involves peter, my intern

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : your son

 **IronPopTartMan** : my intern

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : don't worry, your simply in denial, it'll pass after awhile and you will accept father hood-

 **IronPopTartMan** : not likely

 **IronPopTartMan** : anyways, loki?

 **MischievousSnek** : it's nothing you need to concern yourself about

 **IronPopTartMan** : bucky?

 **Mr.Jesus** : nope

 **IronPopTartMan** : very eloquent, thanks

 **Spider-Burrito** : it's nothing mr.stark- it isn't anything bad, okay? please just leave it alone?

 **IronPopTartMan** : kid look-

 **MischievousSnek** : it's just to calm my murderous tendencies, without this child i would have already murdered about every single person in this castle

 **MischievousSnek** : there, happy now?

 **IronPopTartMan** : yeah

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : is that supposed to comfort me, or frighten me?

 **MischievousSnek** : both

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : good, because right now i feel both fear and comfort knowing you guys have a system to stop you from murdering us all, but also frightened by the fact you guys have a system down for it, meaning this is a pretty common occurrence

 **MischievousSnek** : fear me

 **Spider-Burrito** : Mrs.Loki just tells me when Murderous Tendencies get over 6, which i really appreciate. I came up with the system not 

**Spider-Burrito** : why do i suddenly have a stack of 20 blankets in my room...?

 **CaptainMotherHen** : You expect us to learn about the fact that you thermoregulate and NOT make sure your not freezing every moment during winter?

 **FalconsAreCool** : Yeah kid, if you really thought that then you have another thing coming

 **Spider-Burrito:** but guys, it's fine? i just wear like, 5 or 6 layers of shirts and i'm okay

 **MischievousSnek** : i can smell the lies from all the way over here

 **Spider-Burrito** : of course it's still gonna feel cold! but like, doesn't everyone cold in winter? even with the best of coats? or the couple hundred layers of clothing? the only difference is that it just takes me allot longer to warm up-

 **IronPopTartMan** : kid, iv'e already ordered a couple dozen things for you, including heating pads, warm sweaters and i'm making a coat that warms up like your suit, so just accept the blankets-

 **Spider-Burrito** : omg mr.stark no- it's not like i can get sick because of the cold-

 **CoolScienceBro** : Wait, you don't get sick?

 **Spider-Burrito** : well, i don't know? i haven't gotten sick since the spider bite? it's already almost been 2 years since then, and i think it's safe to say i can't get sick?

 **CoolScienceBro** : Would you mind taking a few test just to make sure of it? This would actually be interesting to see

 **CoolScienceBro** : I already find it unlikely that one spider can perfectly match with your DNA, make your eyesight amazing, give you super strength, agility and all your senses heightened- It just seems so unlikely

 **Spider-Burrito** : don't forget the spidey-sense!

 **IronPopTartMan** : ...

 **IronPopTartMan** : kid, you know branding is forever right?

 **IronPopTartMan** : you know your gonna forever have the word 'spider-sense' stuck to you, right?

 **IronPopTartMan** : you really need to get better with naming-

 **Spider-Burrito** : i'm not  _that_ bad! i named Tess, didn't i?

 **CaptainMotherHen** : I mean... your pretty bad

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay, your not one to speak  _Captain America_

 **Spider-Burrito** : seriously, almost everyone on this chat is awfully named so don't attack me specifically-

 **Spider-Burrito** : IRON MAN ISN'T EVEN MADE OUT OF IRON-

 **CoolScienceBro** : Forget about branding's for one second-

 **CoolSciencebro** : Spidey-Sense? What's that?

 **Spider-Burrito** : it's what tells me when danger is coming- like if a bullet is coming i can sense it and dodge it without even looking

 **Spider-Burrito** : i don't know how it works, it just does?

 **CoolScienceBro** : What does it feel like?

 **Spider-Burrito** : it depends? if the danger is really bad then it's like this sudden shock going through my body SCREAMING at me to MOVE. if it's like, a ball of paper being thrown at my head it's a bit dull and lowered considerably, but still there. 

 **CoolScienceBro** : Iv'e never heard about anything like that... Would you mind if I take test on all of this one day?

 **Spider-Burrito** : i don't know? i guess it would be fine? just like, don't shoot a bullet at me? please? 

 **Spider-Burrito** : pretty please?

 **CoolScienceBro** : I won't shoot you Peter, everyone in here would have my head

 **CoolScienceBro** : Well, that is if I don't already have it sliced on a silver plate

 **IronPopTartMan** : I did not need that mental image, you know that right? 

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : how would that even be, possible?

 **SheBeSneaky** : i can think of a multitude of ways to do just that

 **MischievousSnek** : same, it wouldn't be that hard

 **Mr.Jesus** : me too, and they say he's a genius

 **CaptainMotherHen** : That isn't the point! I think he meant THAT ISN'T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN EVER-

 **IronPopTartMan** : THANK YOU

 **PopTartLover** : I agree with the Man of Iron and the Captain, Sister, you aren't supposed to think about these things regularly

 **MischievousSnek** : you know thinking about different ways to kill people calls me-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : Calm Thy Self

 **Spider-Burrito** : clint no

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : clint yes

 **SheBeSneaky** : clint no

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : clint no

 **FalconsAreCool** : I can't believe you guys-

 **Spider-Burrito** : ANYWAYS- let's forget the mental imagery of Dr.Banner's head on a silver platter, for all our sake's  

 **Spider-Burrito** : i'll think about it? i don't... just no blood test, okay?

 **CoolScienceBro** : Okay, I can respect that

 **CoolScienceBro** : Do you mind if I ask why? I probably won't be able to see if you can get sick or not without a blood test... If we do find out, it'll be when you actually get sick.

 **Spider-Burrito** : allot of bad stuff happened last time someone took my blood, that's all i'm willing to say about it

 **CoolScienceBro** : Okay then, it's fine Peter, don't worry about it

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay, thank you Mr.Banner

 **CoolScienceBro** : Welcome Peter

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : HOLY FUCKING SHIT GUYS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : PETER JUST

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : YEETED STEVE INTO THE WALL DURING TRAINING ON ACCIDENT AND PETER IS PROFUSELY APOLOGIZING AND ASKING IF HE'S HURT

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : AND STEVE REPLIED "  Yeah " AND THEN PETER STARTED PANICKING THEN STEVE SAID " My Pride is in shambles, gone, crushed to dust. "

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : IT WAS BEAUTIFUL-

 **FalconsAreCool** : NOW HE KNOWS

 **FalconsAreCool** : NOW YOU KNOWS HOW I FEEL

 **Mr.Jesus** : my boyfriend will finally understand why i wake up in a cold sweat because i remember a 14/15 year old defeated me, tying me next to the person i despise with a passion

 **FalconsAreCool** : the feeling is mutual

 **SheBeSneaky** : you guys need to get over your hatred for each other

 **FalconsAreCool** : Look, if it doesn't interfere in battle, i can hate this guy as much as I want

 **SheBeSneaky** : hm, sure

**Spider-Burrito** : i'm so sorry mr.captain america rogers sir

 **CaptainMotherHen** : It's fine Peter, better me then say, Tony

 **Spider-Burrito** : that's exactly why Tony doesn't train, at all

 **IronPopTartMan** : why is it that you refuse to just, call people by their first name? Iv'e known you for over a year and you still call me mr.stark most of the time

 **Spider-Burrito** : because it's polite? and i'm a nervous wreck 99.9% of the time?

 **CoolScienceBro** : Same

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : mood

 **Spider-Burrito** : and it's mostly a force of habit-? 

 **Spider-Burrito** : and to annoy you from time to time-

 **IronPopTartMan** : wow

 **IronPopTartMan** : betrayed, by my own intern

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : son

 **IronPopTartMan** : i'm not talking to you anymore

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : denial i tell you

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Guys I'm so sorry the update is late, I really do try to post once every 3 days, but life got in the way. Before yesterday I fell asleep around 6:30 PM because I was so exhausted and just yesterday my friend slept over and I'm so sorry.
> 
> I'm not even that happy with the chapter, but it'll have to do. I'm gonna try and wrtie something else to post soon enough though! Iv'e started a "Goals" and "Idea's" section in my book to help motivate me to write. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this one! I still don't know if I want to make this Tony/Bruce so we'll have to wait a bit TwT I'm an indecisive shit XD
> 
> Do you like that small sneak in about Harry Osborn? ;3 Btw my Timeline is very different in this universe, it IS Homecoming Peter, just with a few aspects about the other Spider-Man's
> 
> Also like, I love comments so much? So please! Leave a comment! I love reading and replying to them! =D


End file.
